Life is complicated enough, and I’m tired of adding to this by getting lost in the big questions of life. It’s essential to be curious, challenge ourselves to grow, and ponder about the purpose of it all. But, in the last year, I have also realized that I need a foundation to base my journey on.
I get so many uninvited insights, questions, and comments about my spiritual journey and how this reflects on me as a mom, my relationships, and more. I stopped trying to defend or explain myself a long time ago. Still, if I could articulate what I can now, I may have had a different experience.
These are the three pillars I build my life around and the things that are the most important to me. I explain these qualities as akin to me for this post. I also actively cultivate and ask these questions when raising my daughter, building my family, and choosing to enter new relationships.
Pillar 1: Am I healthy?
This is where it all starts for me. This question immediately leads to the physical and some sort of diet attached to that physical health, but it’s NOT what this question is about to me. It’s part of it, but not the whole. I see my health as a complete picture. Am I mentally healthy? Physically healthy? Emotionally healthy?
These are easy questions with complex answers that change according to our life circumstances at any given moment. I have an anxiety disorder, so answering the question about my mental health is not always a straightforward yes or no. I need to work on it every day and check in every day.
The same goes for the rest of the body. I will always have times when I eat healthier than others, have more time to exercise than others, when old injuries prevent me from exercising more than I used to, etc.
My goal here is never to be at the absolute pinnacle of health but to ask myself if I FEEL, at that moment, healthy? Do I feel good physically, and if not, why not? The same for my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
When my mind and soul feel healthy, I have an excellent foundation to build from. Feeling healthy is much more important to me than meeting the standards of what society tells me is healthy. It’s my body, mind, emotions, and spiritual path. I will decide and judge if it feels good to me or not.
Pillar 2: Am I Happy?
Another short but loaded question that I need to pay attention to daily. It involved a deep dive into what happiness means to me. What does it look like to me? Does it look the same five years from now, ten years from now? It’s a constant journey of connecting with my journey, soul and perceived purpose. It relates to the future I want to manifest for myself, releasing the past and genuinely being in the moment.
This is a daily practice in being. A daily check-in, adjustment, and revelation. It is the meaning of life, the purpose of existence for me, and the question of the century. So, am I happy?
Pillar 3: Am I a good person?
We all wish we could be saints. Somehow when we think of the notion of a good person Oprah or Mother Theresa appears before us, and we rush headlong into the path of being on the same level. I accept, mostly unsuccessfully, that I am human. I have my own issues, intricacies, and curiosities. I have bad days when I say mean things, hurt people, or don’t stay true to who I am.
I look at this in the big picture. At the core of it, the heart of it all – am I a good person? Do I actively try to be a good mom, wife, friend, and soul companion for myself? Do I approach situations with good intentions and enter into new relationships without malice?
We all make mistakes. I am good at accepting this about others and bad at accepting this about myself. My inner critic is brutal and unforgiving. It’s always telling me I am not enough, others are better, and small slights are much higher on a cruelty scale than others perceive it to be. But I have made it my life’s mission to work with myself, to sit at the table with this inner critic and invite her for tea. I challenge her, engage with her and do my best to find a meeting point between our two worlds.
I honestly do not have the mental capacity to add any more complications to my life. My path, soul journey, and purpose need to be something I can find solace in. This tree must have roots that can grow, spread and expand. So, at the end of each day, I ask myself: Are you healthy? Are you happy? Are you a good person?
What are the pillars of your life?
Love and Light